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And it stretched for centuries
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|03:34 am] |
"Staring back at a concrete sea white dashes are all I can see. I'm losing touch not realizing what it is I have become. To die a little bit more each day reinventing myself in order to stay away. Withdrawn from my own reality as I fight in attempt to better me. I gasp for each breath the heavens telling me this is the end. Detached from the earth and all those that made me hurt I regress on what was said to me. Withdrawn from my own reality so I can stay happy. I'm grasping."
-greg
These lyrics fit how i am feeling. Every since i've been home i've felt kind of detached from reality. I feel like i need to search for some kind of truth but i don't know where. So i've decided tomorrow im driving somewhere i don't know where, somewhere near woods... and going on a 2 day spiritual journey to find something. I don't what it is but there a reason i have these days off in a row and a reason for me feeling this way. Like that dream i had was some kind of sign. i don't believe in god so it doesnt have to do with that, but i believe there is a reason for all this, and i think i need to search for some kind of truth. Im shutting my phone off. i'll be back in two days. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|04:49 pm] |
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The only blood between us is bad blood. |
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| finally |
[Mar. 29th, 2007|10:15 am] |
this damn live journal hasnt been working for a while. everytime i would try and post an entry before it would freeze. FINALLY. well i have nothing good to say, so
CHECK OUT MY BAND!
www.myspace.com/petitionhc
haha.
oh yea and i hate whores. |
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| cant sleep old survery revived |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|09:06 am] |
-The Year 2006 in Review-
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? gone to alot of fucking shows and reunion shows and new venues.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i had none, and i doubt ill make new ones
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? not really
4. Did anyone close to you die? mike lutz, aunt connie.
5. What countries did you visit? none
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? more mental strength
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? shit i dunno? i guess dates of when really good shows were...
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? becoming a better person, progressing and getting stronger mentally
9. What was your biggest failure? not sure, too focused on the positive
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? yea i hurt my teeth pretty bad and got sick alot
11. What was the best thing you bought? Concert tickets.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? i dunno? taylor.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? violence
14. Where did most of your money go? MUSIC
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Gorilla Buiscuts reunion, bad brains reunion, lifetime, thursday, brand new, have heart, strike anywhere, bane
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Saves The Day- do u know what i love the most?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? gained weight
iii. richer or poorer? richer? i guess
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? experiance everything, regret nothing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? getting angry
20. How will you be spending Christmas? its over
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? ive been in love -Taylor
23. How many one-night stands? i love taylor
24. What was your favorite TV program? Poker, Squidbillies, Comedy Central, Daily Show, etc
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? alot of people
26. What was the best book you read? Cather in the Rye
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? have heart, bane,
28. What did you want and get? i dunno
29. What did you want and not get? no regrets
30. What was your favorite film of this year? internal sunshine
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i hung out with taylor, i turned 18
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? no regrets it was a good year
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? fuck fashion. im a trashman!
34. What kept you sane? Taylor,Music, Friendships, WaWa
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? myself
36. What political issue stirred you the most? everything. esp same sex marrige, war, etc
37. Who did you miss? old friends sorta
38. Who was the best new person you met? alot of people
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006. Shit, i leanred a lesson everyday. i guess one would be that you can overcome anything if u set your mind to it, that your beliefs will make you who u are and help you get through life. Also that how tragic it can be when someone dies in a community and how it effects everyone and how death can bring people together in a way.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
fuck this ones hard....
"Triumph over every fucking day" |
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| and all that remains |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|08:31 am] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| |  restless | ] |
| [ | Music: |
| | the june spirit | ] |
"I would have sold my soul for
A few more days of feeling alive"
-the june spirit |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|06:06 am] |
"and can just sit back and wait for the next deal to come
and if the worst thing in my life
is long-ass rides and hug filled good-byes
and i can still be mystified
by pretty smiles, crushes and mix tapes
then i guess things really aren't so bad" |
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| rest in peace Mike Lutz |
[Apr. 21st, 2006|06:52 pm] |
Last night Mike Lutz overdosed on heroin. My brothers childhood friend. And a friend to me too. I just saw him 3 times in the past month, two times at work he came through my line, and once in country farms. He was nice to me. He had grown up since we were kids. I knew he was in to drugs but not that hard. He told me he was getting his life together, Enlisting in the Navy. But no, now hes dead. His life taken away from him from a stupid drug. I feel bad for my brothers, especially Mike. Mike was flipping out, breaking stuff, crying. Mike apparantly knew he was doing heroin now. Thats why he stopped hanging out with him. Bob called me and told me about it. I sat on the floor in my room and just kept crying. I kept thinking of all the times when we were kids. Lutz was a good kid. But why? Why did he have to get into drugs? Why did he do this to himself.
Tell everyone, is it REALLY FUCKING WORTH IT? Is it worth it to get into hard drugs and overdose? to end your life? fucking die? I hope whoever reads this. The next time you do hard drugs, some pills, coke, heroin, whatever, just think of all the people that are dead, all the mothers and fathers crying because their son and daughter are dead because of stupid fucking substances. IS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT? You say its fun? Is it fun to ruin your life? Stop fooling yourself. Look what happens. Now because of drugs one of my friends is now a fucking statistic. I hope my brothers learn something from this. I am so angry. I have finally stopped crying. The last time i saw him he was coming through my line at work with his mom.
He was too fucking young. He had his whole life ahead of him. He could of been something. Even though i didn't agree with him joining the military but i guess it was better than a lifestyle of drugs. I thought he was turning his life around. But no. His life takeb away. The whole town is in shock. All my brothers friends. This is the worst day ever. Another fucking life taken away because of drugs, stupid, fucking, drugs. I hope everyone enjoys their lives, their self-destructive lifestyles. This is what really fucking happens. And dont you ever say it doesnt because it does and now my friend is dead. Fuck drugs, fuck drinking, FUCK HEROIN.
Your in all our hearts Mike. I'll we'll never forget you. |
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| you run your fucknig mouth when im not around |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|03:01 pm] |
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okayyyy. all i can say is if people have something to say (man or women) they should say it to peoples face especially my face. because all you little immature drama making gossip whores are lowlifes with nothing better to do. and your a lowlife that dropped out with a gay mallcore brother. i hope i see you in public so i can spit in your face you ugly bitch. and whoever else wants to talk shit just say it to my face, or say it to my girlfriend when i am around so i can teach you a lesson about respect because its give and take in my eyes. this goes out to anyone, ANYONE, who wants to talk anymore fucking shit about me and my girlfriend, have THE BALLS/OVARIES to say it to my face, or say it to her when im around in person, theres no greater truth, then we will see how tough/ concetied you really are then, because in truth your just weak, and immature. i dont care who you are anymore. say it to my face. |
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| never a dull moment |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|12:18 pm] |
Well, i got another concussion last night at the battle of the bands at the troc. Once again i'm famous for getting a concussion at a show,lol. All i remember is coming downstairs from the balcony stage because AJ told me a really good band was on downstairs. I was downstairs in the pit for that band. Then the next thing i remember is being outside some guard saying i had a concussion, JoeNic said to me he accidentally kicked me in thte head. Then i remember hearing franks voice. Next thing i know there putting me in an ambulance and i see a bunch of my friends outside the ambulance doors and they shut. Frank was in the ambulance with me calling my parents. i kept saying "what the hell happened!?" and the first thing that came into my mind and that i said was "i dont want my paretns to find out, i dont want to go in the ambulance!" cus at first i thought that if they knew they would never want me to go to shows again! I got to the hospital and they put me in trauma something. they took off all my clothes cut off my shirt examined me. put a neck brace on me. then they sent me to get x-rays or whatever. then i went into another room and my paretns were there. they stuck too huge ass IV needles in both arms. that hurt even more than my pounding head. my head got messed up and so did my jaw. Then i hear doctors telling me that like 20 kids were in the waiting room for me. That gave me so much strength inside.
Luckily the results came negitive, no neck injuries. So i dont have to wear a neck brace. I cant engage in physical activity for 2 weeks. My paretns said "no mosh pits for a while". i'm fine now though. i just need some days of rest, so i didnt go to school today. This concussion wasn't as bad as the last one i had in january of 2004. So i'll be alright. i'll be restin all this week. i'll wait the two weeks before i start gonig to shows again. I have a huge bump on my head, two marks on my face n shit.
This is supposively what happened when i blacked out. I fell on the ground and i was on there for about 5 mintues, people moved me out of the pit area, and i still wasnt getting up. people tried to give me water but i wouldnt take any. The band stopped and a bunch of people surrounded me, alot of my friends. So the band said to start a chant to get me up. Everyone in the troc suppsoviely started chanting my name. Two guards got me up and everyone cheered. 10 mintues of glory and i wasn't even conscious,lol.
It makes me think alot about how the brain has an automatic thing to just make you forget the worst of pain and memories. Such a fastinating thing to think about. I guess that's why i blacked out. Not to mention i hadn't eaten alot that day and not enough fluids.
But the biggest emotion i felt above all the pain. was the feeling of my friends concern. Thank you everyone. i love all my friends, they are like my family. |
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| papas got a brand new bag |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|09:31 pm] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
sometimes its really hard to beleive or accept that time has gone by so fast. These past two years have gone by so ridiculously fast. It seems like yesterday, i can picture everything that has happened. I cant remember where i was 5 seconds ago, but i can remember 1, 2, 3 years ago. Esp. one year ago, how could it be one year already since oct 04? I still cant believe im a senior in high school, i remember picturing it as a kid and in middle school. Mostly nostalgia has been through my head lately, and i think it will get worse, i don't know what to expect at the end of high school, what final decisions to make. I pictured everything alot differant i guess? It's like, im happy, but ill still always feel incomplete, like a part of me is missing, or that im making the wrong decision. I wish it was freshman year again, jeez. But we all must accept the future. Things will always change, and im just going to have to let the past go with no regrets, leave everything behind, stop hanging on and live in the moment.
Music has forever changed my life, and i would be nothing without it, and my friends and all the people that have effected me in some way. I want to keep my best friends and these times forever. I want to never give up on my dreams. Years from now, no one will care about a live journal, or a song from long ago, school will be done and its then the pursuit of life. I just want to stay happy and try so out to make it out there. Somtimes i think back on how much more depressed i was and im glad i progressed. But theres still that feeling from time to time where i feel like dying, but no it isnt every day. Its weird to think about my past and how sad i was with everything and all the mistakes i have made and what i could of done differant, but i guess thats what made me who i am now.
I always get these moments in life where i feel i know 100% that something is right, or a i know i moment i will always remember, i want that feeling to feel with something or someone that will last forever. I owe my life to music and my friends. and my family too, and of course every god damn girl i've every felt for and every girl that ever gave me the light of day, every song i ever wrote every feeling i ever felt. I'll never forget all these times, and i never thought i'd find happiness.
I love the feeling of seeing a picture, a freeze frame in time, because theres barely pictures of me, but i get that feeling more of pictures with friends. Because in my whole life i have never had alot of pictures with friends, even today, and when i see one it makes me think of something, a moment, a freeze frame that will last forever and always exsist. As i kid i never would of believe i would have so many friends from all over. I wish i had a camera. And i hope every friend that has a picture of me, a writing by me, something that will remember me, well, thats just that happiest feeling in the world to me,
thinking that i, matt myers, have some signifigance in this world, and in this life. |
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| i need a hero |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|09:51 pm] |
I haven't rocked so hard in a fucknig long time. Shot By Surpirse my old band is back together. With our new guitarist Mike Moffitt. One practice and wwe already have are old 4 songs down pretty well, and we finished a brand new song moffitt wrote the guitar line for. i havent rocked so hard in forever! it was great it was like the old days. Were an old school pop-punk/indie band. Our biggest influences are old Brand New, old Alkaline Trio, old Saves the Day, old Early November. me bauer and moffitt are going to have some fun. were back and better than ever. check us out
www.myspace.com/shotbysuprise
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=22908170&Mytoken=20050907191034
bauer can't spell SURPRISE right. |
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| so you got ahead |
[Aug. 13th, 2005|10:58 pm] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Music: |
| | Bright Eyes- Gold Mind Gutted (Live)/ Arc of TIme (Live) | ] |
oh, another great night. willy wonka and the chocolate factory was good. go see it.
i have busy days up ahead.
Tomorrow:
Work 8am-2pm
then im driving down to LBI (ship bottom) to stay the night at butterys house with dan.
Then i come back monday around 4. then wednesday i have to register my car at school. then thursday work again. then friday trough sunday, HELLFEST in TRENTON, driving back and forth each day. 1030am each day.
Then monday at 4pm is the john hogge(RIP) memorial show at grand slam. GYM CLASS HERO BACK ONE NIGHT ONLY. Then Wednesday possibly GIGANTOUR, then the 27th im playing another basement show. good end to the summer.
our one sweet night.......together...... |
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| not one damn dime day |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|06:26 am] |
from the "not one damn die day" website
"Inauguration Day, Thursday, January 20th, 2005 is "Not One Damn Dime Day" in America. On "Not One Damn Dime Day" those who oppose what is happening in our name in Iraq can speak up with a 24-hour national boycott of all forms of consumer spending. During "Not One Damn Dime Day" please don't spend money. Not one damn dime for gasoline. Not one damn dime for necessities or for impulse purchases. Not one damn dime for anything for 24 hours.
On "Not One Damn Dime Day," please boycott Walmart, KMart and Target. Please don't go to the mall or the local convenience store. Please don't buy any fast food (or any groceries at all for that matter). For 24 hours, please do what you can to shut the retail economy down. The object is simple. Remind the people in power that the war in Iraq is immoral and illegal; that they are responsible for starting it and that it is their responsibility to stop it.
"Not One Damn Dime Day" is to remind them, too, that they work for the people of the United States of America, not for the international corporations and K Street lobbyists who represent the corporations and funnel cash into American politics.
Not One Damn Dime Day" is about supporting the troops. The politicians put the troops in harm's way. Now 1,200+ brave young Americans and (some estimated) 100,000 Iraqis have died. The politicians owe our troops a plan -- a way to come home.
There's no rally to attend. No marching to do. No left or right wing agenda to rant about. On "Not One Damn Dime Day" you take action by doing nothing. You open your mouth by keeping your wallet closed. For 24 hours, nothing gets spent, not one damn dime, to remind our religious leaders and our politicians of their moral responsibility to end the war in Iraq and give America back to the people. " |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2004|03:08 am] |
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fuck live journal. too lazy. what a crazy night of summer. hanging with steve and dan. the end. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2004|07:54 am] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Music: |
| | hawthorne hieghts | ] |
feel like updating my journal cus im bored and first period is boring. ive got work all this week except for friday. im going to new york sunday. cant wait to see grenich village and etc. plus aunt kitty will be there and shes great. sarlo and shortys coming with us too. cashier training is sooo boring. but im getting paid for doing crap so its all good. this friday is the the pro-peace geogre bush protest at genaurdis. im def. going. friday should be fun. i think im hanging out with maria, then prolly going to the protest and maybe hanging out with jess. jaimie will be going to hershey over the weekend so another weekend without seeing her:(. we havent hung out, cus ive been soooo busy. and the band has recording this saturday at sachers. so much is going on lately. its hard to belive its may already. it was fun seeing maria again, i havent talked to her in forever, me her and steve hanging out was like old times. it brung back alot of memories. me and maria had a long talk after we left steves about all that. it seems like everyone misses everyone. well, people change, things change like the whether. sometimes its sad how everyone goes there seperate ways. but it the end you find out who your true friends are. i dont care what my paretns ever say about steve heel still always be like a brother i never had. like sarlo i thought he was my best friend, but lately im wrong, he turned his back on me. and radkowlski im still digusted with. hes been my best friend since 3rd grade, all once a girl comes along he stabs me in the back. its a long story though. i miss alot of my old friends. like sarah. but i give up with that girl, shell never call me back or make an effort to hang out with me, so its her own loss. and danni seemed to dissapear off the face of the earth. natan and me sorta have gwon apart i guess. we never hang outside of school. kevin and me are on good terms again. jim will always be my friend. bauer has become my closest friend ever. and jay will always be my friend. and robyn i miss hanging out with her its been forever. i miss her, stef, and jen and them making me laugh. shes like a sister to me. kristin also is one of my best friends and is most understanding person ever, shes like my sister. and buttery is a really good friend also. like my dad always said, in the end you find out who your friends really are. like after high school, if i still have my same friends, then they are true friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2003|02:14 pm] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| |  bored | ] |
ADD ME
you must add me
PLEASEEEE. lol |
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| <##########3 |
[Nov. 17th, 2003|04:20 pm] |
| [ | Inconsistancies of My Moods |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Music: |
| | Motion City Soundtrack-indoor living | ] |
ive got so much to talk about |
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| watch the night sky fading red |
[Oct. 24th, 2003|03:32 pm] |
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so, yea, i dont have much to say execpt that i hate life. last night sucked, my brother and me got in a fight and hes like why dont you go fucknig take some pills and overdose you fuck, so i did cus i was mad,. i dunno. im soooo confused abotu evrything anymore. and slowly im not giving a fcuk about my depression cus im tired of being sad i guess. birch hill closes sunday, that makes me sad. i want to go to it one more last time before it closes and just sit at the place were me and lianna first kiss and remember it. but anyway, i dunno what im doing tonight, i wanna see school of rock, someone go with me. |
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tbsthursdaybn's journal
wow man its been a while since ive had pics in my journal!!